I still have my first guitar, bought for $14 from a friend of my youngest aunt. I also have the Japanese red label Yamaha that same aunt gave me, and several others, acoustic and electric. Playing is rejuvenating for me. Good essay about yours.
I have three of them. A Guild D-25, a Takamine 12 string, and a craviola. The Guild I bought as a teen and has served me well. The Takamine was a Christmas gift from my grandmother and has traveled far.
The craviola I bought a few years ago in Switzerland and is a very interesting instrument. It's a 12 string and has a different sound from the Takamine, as well as an unusual shape. It's the one I have in California (the others being in NY).
Like you I only play in solitude. So the craviola gets carried out to remote areas along Rte 1 where I can look at the ocean while I make my rusty fingers try to remember what they used to do...
I know that feeling ;-) When we first moved into this house I used to play outside a little... haven't done it in years. Might try that again. Haven't tried a 12-string in a very long time..
Nice article. I have many lacquered boxes. Sewing and writing boxes are a particular favorite. We will have to share some photos. Papier mache, mother of pearl and black lacquer, make for some beautiful boxes.
Have to say the buttons, are still the main obsession. Button collecting, a gentle madness it is referred to.
My guitars and mandolins, wall ornaments. When asked once how my mandolin tater bug playing was going, my response was: “ Trying to play that tater bug mando, makes it easier to try and play the guitar. “
LOVED reading this! I pictured scenes from Deutschland 83 with the part about your family’s trip to the USSR. What an experience! You got your first guitar while also learning that people on the other side “were people just like us.” We tell our kids that, but seeing it is always better.
Also, love your mom’s outlook: “hell yeah, sounds weird, let’s do it.”
And hell yeah to enjoying an instrument you’ll never be great at playing!
Glad you liked it :-) It's amazing how clearly I remember a lot of that trip from a long time ago... evidently a peak experience. And yes, my mother was a force of nature. She and my dad were a very good pair.
I understand it being like meditation for you. Growing up we had a cottage and in front of ours was the main fire pit. Our neighbours, the Williams family, had five children who all played the guitar and the oldest also played the banjo. That is one of my greatest memories from those days. Give me a fire and acoustic music and I am at complete peace.
This was a great read, and it's nice to know that there's someone else whose guitar career consists of a progression of playing—to nobody—a bunch of random, made up stuff and then making up some new random stuff and playing that over and over, for probably far too long...
Though I'm mostly an A-minor guy myself. I blame Neil Young.
Don't mind a bit of Am myself. It's funny to think that, despite all the music that's continually out there, being listened to... maybe the bulk of it is never heard by anybody except the person making it.
Is it vanity or appropriation or something, I wonder, to suspect that synaesthesia goes together with writing, particularly fiction, perhaps better than with any other creative art? I dunno, because I don't practice any other art; but "synaesthesia is inherently metaphor is inherently fiction" feels like an equation I could defend.
I have what you would call enthusiasm making up for talent when it comes to instruments, but I can sing pretty well. When I was in a band we played all original stuff and I was surrounded by consummate musicians, who had played in various guises for people like Genesis, The Adventures, Camel and The Sugarcubes! They would ask things about keys and timings. I would stare blankly and go back to belting out the words.
The one I adore is the cello. I tried to learn it at school and would spend many a happy hour just hearing and feeling the way the bass had that meditative 😱 sound.
I learned the cello for a while in school and yes, there's such a lovely resonance to it: one of the things I love about the Martin guitar is that same feeling of visceral vibration. I envy you the singing ability... I make Mark Knopfler sound like an opera singer.
I've read this several times over the past few days, because this is an awkward one for me. As I hit my teens I developed an insatiable desire to consume, experience & perform music. Joined my first band at 13, upped the stakes from cheap no-name instruments to a classic Rickenbacker by the time I was 17. Signed my first major record deal at 20 & worked with some names across the 80s, performing and producing. Was lucky enough to play on a number 1 hit 1981, though nothing of real note after that.
The trouble was, as time went on I got more disillusioned by the whole thing. The last time I actually made a full album was 2006, with some bits & pieces for a few years after that - but as I read your piece, the realisation comes to me that, although I have three guitars in the room with me right now, I haven't picked up any of them in probably a year. I'm still trying to decide quite how that makes me feel; determined to pick one up, or content to just ignore the issue until I forget about it again.
To not end this on a downer, I did once in 1982, driving as a tourist in the hills in Bulgaria, then still the 'wrong side' of the Iron Curtain, zip around a woodland corner to come face to face with a surprise military installation with attendant barrier, barbed wire, armed guards, tanks, trucks.... The world's fastest three-point turn was hastily executed & we beat a retreat. No-one followed or shot at us.
I have a small sense of how you feel about this, as there's a hobby I picked up during COVID (watchmaking) that I was utterly absorbed in for a couple or years, but have now drifted from. There's reasons for that (I suspect associations with my father's death, which happened during that period) but it still bugs me. I feel guilty for not doing it, because it meant so much and I genuinely enjoyed it. With something as elemental as music (especially given you had actual success with it) that's got to be 1000-fold stronger. I guess the question is whether it's simply something that's not longer a priority (and so while you feel guilty on behalf of your younger self and his obsessions and dreams, it's not something the current you actually cares about) or if it's a hurt reaction, coming from the disillusionment.
Is there a way to detach it from all that, and just pick up a guitar for yourself, and in the present moment, not worrying about where it came from, or where it leads?
I do feel I'm getting towards stalker levels of using your platform for my weekly catharsis;)
My current 'raison de procrastination' is I'm recovering from a major op & can't actually play at all right now. That will only last another month, though, so after that I'm going to either have to pick it up or find another excuse. The points you make about why are really pertinent… just the only answer I have is "I don't know which it is."
Right now I'm amusingly distracted by whether this particular catharsis would be mainly engendered by the true desire to play again, or that "Dr Smith" told me I ought to discover the reason why I don't.
Freud would have a field day. Thank you for being my sounding-board. I shall endeavour to not turn your shiny new substack into my personal analyst's couch. ;)
Well… I finally picked it up today. First time I've really been recovered enough to consider it [you don't need the details but it was an op that required a very deep incision in my wrist, so that's been a bit of a hold-up on playing, lethargy &/or disillusionment aside]
My once merely average playing is now, even to be kind, abysmal - but it's a start. Let's not mention that my aspergers/OCD made me keep this page open ever since I first posted on it, as a periodic reminder ;)
Anyway, we have 'some playing' for the first time in a long time.
You don't get *all* the credit;)… but please take some, at least, for mentioning this in the first place, which made me analyse my motives or lack thereof. Finger ends are so soft it's going to take me a while to get back into the swing of it, but time heals all wounds & all that.
I have a Variax modelling guitar & matching Line6 modelling amp, so I have the sound nailed, to deep satisfaction.
I do sincerely hope you manage to find some time again to go back to your watchmaking - or at least settle in your own mind why you may not want to. There's something disconcerting about having a decision or determination hanging around at the back of your mind, especially one that others wouldn't even consider a decision.
Hey there :-) Really glad to hear you've picked it up again... not surprised you've had a gap after an operation like that! I've had some kind of arthritis in my left thumb for six months or so and am diligently avoiding even thinking about letting someone come at it with a knife...
I haven't yet got back to the watchmaking but I've selected a particular project for one when I do: and thank you for the reminder not to let it drift too far off the radar.
I did listen to that solo, and what a good place to start ;-) I hope recovery is swift and that those calluses come back soon... really glad to hear you're back on it!
Thank you — that's really nice to hear :)
I still have my first guitar, bought for $14 from a friend of my youngest aunt. I also have the Japanese red label Yamaha that same aunt gave me, and several others, acoustic and electric. Playing is rejuvenating for me. Good essay about yours.
Thank you... and yes, playing an instrument, however well, is a unique experience for the soul.
I have three of them. A Guild D-25, a Takamine 12 string, and a craviola. The Guild I bought as a teen and has served me well. The Takamine was a Christmas gift from my grandmother and has traveled far.
The craviola I bought a few years ago in Switzerland and is a very interesting instrument. It's a 12 string and has a different sound from the Takamine, as well as an unusual shape. It's the one I have in California (the others being in NY).
Like you I only play in solitude. So the craviola gets carried out to remote areas along Rte 1 where I can look at the ocean while I make my rusty fingers try to remember what they used to do...
I know that feeling ;-) When we first moved into this house I used to play outside a little... haven't done it in years. Might try that again. Haven't tried a 12-string in a very long time..
We need to meet up somewhere and you can try it out. It's a lovely thing. Choose a park and I'll bring beer.
Nice article. I have many lacquered boxes. Sewing and writing boxes are a particular favorite. We will have to share some photos. Papier mache, mother of pearl and black lacquer, make for some beautiful boxes.
Have to say the buttons, are still the main obsession. Button collecting, a gentle madness it is referred to.
My guitars and mandolins, wall ornaments. When asked once how my mandolin tater bug playing was going, my response was: “ Trying to play that tater bug mando, makes it easier to try and play the guitar. “
Ha, yes — I've tried a mandolin and it's fiddly! Buttons must be a great thing to collect... there's so many different types!
LOVED reading this! I pictured scenes from Deutschland 83 with the part about your family’s trip to the USSR. What an experience! You got your first guitar while also learning that people on the other side “were people just like us.” We tell our kids that, but seeing it is always better.
Also, love your mom’s outlook: “hell yeah, sounds weird, let’s do it.”
And hell yeah to enjoying an instrument you’ll never be great at playing!
Glad you liked it :-) It's amazing how clearly I remember a lot of that trip from a long time ago... evidently a peak experience. And yes, my mother was a force of nature. She and my dad were a very good pair.
I understand it being like meditation for you. Growing up we had a cottage and in front of ours was the main fire pit. Our neighbours, the Williams family, had five children who all played the guitar and the oldest also played the banjo. That is one of my greatest memories from those days. Give me a fire and acoustic music and I am at complete peace.
Your parents sound brilliant. but - you only have 3 guitars??? quite clear you are a writer and not a musician :-)
Only three ACOUSTICS ;-) There are three electrics too...
Ah, OK! :-)
This was a great read, and it's nice to know that there's someone else whose guitar career consists of a progression of playing—to nobody—a bunch of random, made up stuff and then making up some new random stuff and playing that over and over, for probably far too long...
Though I'm mostly an A-minor guy myself. I blame Neil Young.
Don't mind a bit of Am myself. It's funny to think that, despite all the music that's continually out there, being listened to... maybe the bulk of it is never heard by anybody except the person making it.
Neil Young, he can be blamed for a lot...
Local to where we live, weirdly - or used to be.
Is it vanity or appropriation or something, I wonder, to suspect that synaesthesia goes together with writing, particularly fiction, perhaps better than with any other creative art? I dunno, because I don't practice any other art; but "synaesthesia is inherently metaphor is inherently fiction" feels like an equation I could defend.
Yeah, that does make sense...
A cracking post M, thank you.
I have what you would call enthusiasm making up for talent when it comes to instruments, but I can sing pretty well. When I was in a band we played all original stuff and I was surrounded by consummate musicians, who had played in various guises for people like Genesis, The Adventures, Camel and The Sugarcubes! They would ask things about keys and timings. I would stare blankly and go back to belting out the words.
The one I adore is the cello. I tried to learn it at school and would spend many a happy hour just hearing and feeling the way the bass had that meditative 😱 sound.
I learned the cello for a while in school and yes, there's such a lovely resonance to it: one of the things I love about the Martin guitar is that same feeling of visceral vibration. I envy you the singing ability... I make Mark Knopfler sound like an opera singer.
I've read this several times over the past few days, because this is an awkward one for me. As I hit my teens I developed an insatiable desire to consume, experience & perform music. Joined my first band at 13, upped the stakes from cheap no-name instruments to a classic Rickenbacker by the time I was 17. Signed my first major record deal at 20 & worked with some names across the 80s, performing and producing. Was lucky enough to play on a number 1 hit 1981, though nothing of real note after that.
The trouble was, as time went on I got more disillusioned by the whole thing. The last time I actually made a full album was 2006, with some bits & pieces for a few years after that - but as I read your piece, the realisation comes to me that, although I have three guitars in the room with me right now, I haven't picked up any of them in probably a year. I'm still trying to decide quite how that makes me feel; determined to pick one up, or content to just ignore the issue until I forget about it again.
To not end this on a downer, I did once in 1982, driving as a tourist in the hills in Bulgaria, then still the 'wrong side' of the Iron Curtain, zip around a woodland corner to come face to face with a surprise military installation with attendant barrier, barbed wire, armed guards, tanks, trucks.... The world's fastest three-point turn was hastily executed & we beat a retreat. No-one followed or shot at us.
'Oh how we laughed', as they say… much later.
Yikes on Bulgaria!
I have a small sense of how you feel about this, as there's a hobby I picked up during COVID (watchmaking) that I was utterly absorbed in for a couple or years, but have now drifted from. There's reasons for that (I suspect associations with my father's death, which happened during that period) but it still bugs me. I feel guilty for not doing it, because it meant so much and I genuinely enjoyed it. With something as elemental as music (especially given you had actual success with it) that's got to be 1000-fold stronger. I guess the question is whether it's simply something that's not longer a priority (and so while you feel guilty on behalf of your younger self and his obsessions and dreams, it's not something the current you actually cares about) or if it's a hurt reaction, coming from the disillusionment.
Is there a way to detach it from all that, and just pick up a guitar for yourself, and in the present moment, not worrying about where it came from, or where it leads?
I do feel I'm getting towards stalker levels of using your platform for my weekly catharsis;)
My current 'raison de procrastination' is I'm recovering from a major op & can't actually play at all right now. That will only last another month, though, so after that I'm going to either have to pick it up or find another excuse. The points you make about why are really pertinent… just the only answer I have is "I don't know which it is."
Right now I'm amusingly distracted by whether this particular catharsis would be mainly engendered by the true desire to play again, or that "Dr Smith" told me I ought to discover the reason why I don't.
Freud would have a field day. Thank you for being my sounding-board. I shall endeavour to not turn your shiny new substack into my personal analyst's couch. ;)
I'm fine with it. We might both find an answer we need :-)
I'm fine with it - we may both wind up finding the answer to the question we're both asking!
Well… I finally picked it up today. First time I've really been recovered enough to consider it [you don't need the details but it was an op that required a very deep incision in my wrist, so that's been a bit of a hold-up on playing, lethargy &/or disillusionment aside]
My once merely average playing is now, even to be kind, abysmal - but it's a start. Let's not mention that my aspergers/OCD made me keep this page open ever since I first posted on it, as a periodic reminder ;)
Anyway, we have 'some playing' for the first time in a long time.
You don't get *all* the credit;)… but please take some, at least, for mentioning this in the first place, which made me analyse my motives or lack thereof. Finger ends are so soft it's going to take me a while to get back into the swing of it, but time heals all wounds & all that.
BTW, the first thing I played [very badly] was the Leslie West/Mountain guitar solo from my comment under Guitar Solos of the Gods - https://michaelmarshallsmith.substack.com/p/guitar-solos-of-the-gods/comment/15646102 I do hope you listened…& enjoyed.
I have a Variax modelling guitar & matching Line6 modelling amp, so I have the sound nailed, to deep satisfaction.
I do sincerely hope you manage to find some time again to go back to your watchmaking - or at least settle in your own mind why you may not want to. There's something disconcerting about having a decision or determination hanging around at the back of your mind, especially one that others wouldn't even consider a decision.
Thanks again, 'Dr Smith'.
Hey there :-) Really glad to hear you've picked it up again... not surprised you've had a gap after an operation like that! I've had some kind of arthritis in my left thumb for six months or so and am diligently avoiding even thinking about letting someone come at it with a knife...
I haven't yet got back to the watchmaking but I've selected a particular project for one when I do: and thank you for the reminder not to let it drift too far off the radar.
I did listen to that solo, and what a good place to start ;-) I hope recovery is swift and that those calluses come back soon... really glad to hear you're back on it!