20 Comments

This batch is just FUN. Italians are so anti-fat, just as much as the French, so yes they have to be out there with the gut. My late uncle, or great-uncle as the Americans would have it, was Round in shape. We were tight pals, both fans of bloody red meat, though I did not share his fondness for eating onions like apples. He kept pigeons (snacks) but he had one lame pigeon that was a companion, it followed him around like a puppy.

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Wow — he sounds remarkable, and like the perfect (slightly weird) Uncle. I've heard of people eating onions like apples... but have never tried it myself!

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He was wonderful to me and my cousins and brutal to his own children when they were young. He and my aunt hated each other. But he always offered to share his chicken feet, watched pro wrestling with me on tv, and was absolutely the best uncle.

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Funny musings Michael - thank you! The gherkins are ok.

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You pickles are FINISHING, dude — they don't last long in this house ;-)

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Damn it. Now I have to move to France!

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:-)

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Oh, being the ghost of "the partner past." It's been years since I broke up with somebody I d though was the love of my life. A few days ago, I did a bit of Internet spying on him...Now I feel my reality is but a dream.

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Some things of the heart never really leave us.

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By “washing up” do you mean doing the dishes? If so, your idea of romance needs serious improvement. 🤣

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I meant "the things that need to be washed up", but yes ;-)

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Apropos of nothng, my hedgehog is climbing all over me, making it very difficult to write!

I was taken with your comment about people departing and becoming ghosts. Did this play any part in your thought process for Spares?

As the proud wearer of a gut, I'm neither bullish, well dressed, fucked up or American. I am a type 1 diabetic of 30yrs standing so can lay claim to a "diabetic belly"!

My wife says I look like a fat twat...

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LOL your comments genuinely make me laugh :-) Actually I have no idea when I made that note, but I think it was probably ten years or so later than SPARES was written...

Wait, you have a pet hedgehog?

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He's an African Albino Pygmy called Miquill and I cannot recommend them highly enough as pets! They've got bags of character and every evening he sits on my shoulder and we watch telly and write witty comments on substack.

My wife says I look...etc

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Twat is a term of endearment in some relationships ❤️

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Often used with affection in the UK!

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Then my wife must really love me!

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Absolutely no doubt about it 😘

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I feel like one of those paragraphs is the ur-Time Out.

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Certainly feels consistent...

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