16 Comments

I hit the parent lottery, pretty much. My parents love (d) me. But they don't respect me, and I sincerely think that my mom holds me in serious contempt, and it's all her fault that I am shit daughter. So many people don't have it that good. So many.

Out of the blue one day, dad says to me, "You know, you've given us a lot of trouble, but at least you've never been in jail.". Mom is appalled, but I know a Dad Compliment when I hear one. Though I am also thinking What fucking trouble??

Expand full comment

LOL... that sounds like quite a complicated relationship. Still, nice to get a compliment every now and then, even if it's... that one.

Expand full comment

A person of few words, until after the chemo, when he became bullshitter who never shuts up. And talks to everyone. In the last months of his life when he didn't know me, he approved of my having a business, and all of that.

Expand full comment

Love the Schrödinger's Novel. I used to keep a list of titles for them but (by definition) never got further than that. Some of them were pretty damn good, if only I could remember them now.

Expand full comment

This way, they will remain good forever ;-)

Expand full comment

I was a terrible father, self obsessed and not dealing with addiction. I think my son knows I love him but he seems to have nothing but apathy for me.

Which is more than I deserve.

Expand full comment

Fathering is not easy at the best of times. Which it sounds like those weren't. Hopefully that relationship will develop as the younger generation comes to realize that life is often harder than it looked.

Expand full comment

The Schrödinger’s novel description is so true.. you start to write something, then you check on facts, realise they don’t add up, research, change the narrative, have a better idea, and round it goes until you’re not sure whether you’re coming or going 🙄🙄

Expand full comment

Ain't that the truth...

Expand full comment

With a Schrödinger’s novel, you truly do not know if it’s good or bad until til you open it and look inside. Clearly, Micheal has never been guilty of writing one of those. 🙄

Expand full comment

You are very kind ;-)

Expand full comment

Clearly!👍

Expand full comment

I find adulting much less stressful when I keep at the forefront of my mind that all grown-ups are just kids cosplaying as adults. It's the equivalent of imagining the audience naked when you're anxious about performing: we're all more alike than not at our core (teenagers, on the other hand, are a different breed entirely).

Expand full comment

Definitely true. I find that easier as I get older, but most of me is still convinced that everybody (including people much younger) are grown-up, and I'm not: or at least that they're "senior" to me.

Expand full comment

Fun read! I appreciate how you can convey a lot, with not a lot of words. I think it's built-in that, ultimately, parents and kids need to fail each other in some way. And I agree. It is extraordinary how, just the same, the love is built to last.

Also agree that childhood never really ends. That's why "imposter syndrome" is so common. It seems like there's supposed to be something more substantial about being an adult than simply signaling that you are.

Expand full comment

So true. And having a number attached to you that increments by one every year never seems to feel like it confers much adulthood either...

Expand full comment