Your note about love not conquering all resonates strongly in this brain. The fond notion I have that if only circumstances, times, people, any small thing had been slightly different, then that love, or that decision-not-taken, or that discarded aspect of self “could have been a contender” haunts my ruminations. You speak my mind, far too often! I find your writing captivating.
It occurs to me now I read this that nearly all of the homeless people I hung out with in my youth had learned how to "just be" ON stage due to having no backstage options. It was what attracted me to them as people in the first place - their rawness, their realness, their inability or unwillingness to hide the parts of themselves that people in polite/civilised society usually hide because they don't play nicely with social mores and expectations: to sit among them and be part of their experience was refreshing and consistently eye-opening to the sheltered, teenaged version of me who was just beginning to learn about and become fascinated with the dark underbelly of reality.
In my naivety, I had assumed that most were homeless/outcast because of that quality making them unable or unwilling to fit into regular society, rather than that quality existing in them because they simply had no place private to be their secret selves. Now I think of it, nearly all of them had some kind of substance abuse disorder, which suggests the latter: because they had no real sanctuary available, they couldn't "just be" without inducing an artificial sanctuary to take refuge in, one that both temporarily took away the reality of the shared world and shielded them mentally and emotionally, if not physically, from the hate and harassment they constantly received.
Maybe I did intuit that at some level, because I did try to offer a couple of them an alternative place of refuge - if not a home, then at least a safe space, emotionally as much as physically. But it was too late for them: the substance already ruled, and the inevitable inevitabled.
Nicely put Kate. In my experience the problems of addiction came after becoming homeless for most of the people I was with. The vicissitudes of life had conspired to put them/me on the street but the dealers were ready, willing and able to provide an "escape". Often this was given gratis, then once dependence sets in, that's when the price is made apparent. It's one of the many reasons I fu£&ing hate drug dealers😡
It's the devil's business, making a stack of money by creating the kind of dependency on their goods that necessitates users paying for it with their lives (whether in essence or literally).
And it's not just homeless people that don't have a backstage. Mental illness so often leads to substance abuse because the sufferer can't escape the constant voices of anxiety, or depression, or schizophrenia, or BPD, etc... the internal sanctuary created by the substance of choice is the only place in which they feel any real space to relax into and simply exist. Same with chronic pain/disease that doesn't allow the sufferer a moment's respite to "just be": the affliction is a constant negative companion that saps your "you"ness.
“The peculiar and inexplicable female system of kitchen detritus morality”
This made me laugh! My approach to cooking is that upon completion, everything should be cleaned and tidied away. My wife’s approach is that every single item in the kitchen must be unwashed and used in some way. I cannot complain: I don’t do as much cooking as I should… I suspect the detritus is a subtle form of revenge; it’s my job to do the clean up!
My (tedious) mantra, muttered many times to my son, is that you haven't finished cooking until the kitchen is slightly cleaner than when you started. I don't blame him for the eye-rolls.
Regarding homelessness, it resonates with me at the moment: I’ve been reading “The Deluge” by Markley. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Of all the climate fiction I’ve read, this one is a masterwork. Homelessness is coming to a great many people….
Sorry for the random comment, was trying to track down an email, but came up with nada. Will you ever continue writing tales with Nolan and Co.? I read a lot, more than I should, and somehow The Anomaly has remained the pinnacle of fiction for me in the last decade. It even got me to travel cross country to Newspaper Rock. Point being, please explore that world again? You’re the man.
Hey there! Thank you... funny, I've just had another email about THE ANOMALY, and my son just sent me a picture of the book from a hostel in Barcelona :-) I really, *really* want to write another book in the series, but keep getting sidelined into TV writing. I have about three different ideas for another Nolan adventure in the meantime, and am trying to work out which to commit to... hopefully it'll start happening soon!
“So imagine being homeless. When even trying to make yourself a backstage — that ragged tent — is met with fury.” 👏🏻
I'm not sure enough people think about what living like that must really be like...
Your note about love not conquering all resonates strongly in this brain. The fond notion I have that if only circumstances, times, people, any small thing had been slightly different, then that love, or that decision-not-taken, or that discarded aspect of self “could have been a contender” haunts my ruminations. You speak my mind, far too often! I find your writing captivating.
Thank you — really glad you enjoy it :)
This is a particularly glorious batch!
Thank you John!
It occurs to me now I read this that nearly all of the homeless people I hung out with in my youth had learned how to "just be" ON stage due to having no backstage options. It was what attracted me to them as people in the first place - their rawness, their realness, their inability or unwillingness to hide the parts of themselves that people in polite/civilised society usually hide because they don't play nicely with social mores and expectations: to sit among them and be part of their experience was refreshing and consistently eye-opening to the sheltered, teenaged version of me who was just beginning to learn about and become fascinated with the dark underbelly of reality.
In my naivety, I had assumed that most were homeless/outcast because of that quality making them unable or unwilling to fit into regular society, rather than that quality existing in them because they simply had no place private to be their secret selves. Now I think of it, nearly all of them had some kind of substance abuse disorder, which suggests the latter: because they had no real sanctuary available, they couldn't "just be" without inducing an artificial sanctuary to take refuge in, one that both temporarily took away the reality of the shared world and shielded them mentally and emotionally, if not physically, from the hate and harassment they constantly received.
Maybe I did intuit that at some level, because I did try to offer a couple of them an alternative place of refuge - if not a home, then at least a safe space, emotionally as much as physically. But it was too late for them: the substance already ruled, and the inevitable inevitabled.
Nicely put Kate. In my experience the problems of addiction came after becoming homeless for most of the people I was with. The vicissitudes of life had conspired to put them/me on the street but the dealers were ready, willing and able to provide an "escape". Often this was given gratis, then once dependence sets in, that's when the price is made apparent. It's one of the many reasons I fu£&ing hate drug dealers😡
Oh yes.
It's the devil's business, making a stack of money by creating the kind of dependency on their goods that necessitates users paying for it with their lives (whether in essence or literally).
I'd never thought of that — substance abuse as the closest to backstage their circumstances could afford. Hmm.
And it's not just homeless people that don't have a backstage. Mental illness so often leads to substance abuse because the sufferer can't escape the constant voices of anxiety, or depression, or schizophrenia, or BPD, etc... the internal sanctuary created by the substance of choice is the only place in which they feel any real space to relax into and simply exist. Same with chronic pain/disease that doesn't allow the sufferer a moment's respite to "just be": the affliction is a constant negative companion that saps your "you"ness.
“The peculiar and inexplicable female system of kitchen detritus morality”
This made me laugh! My approach to cooking is that upon completion, everything should be cleaned and tidied away. My wife’s approach is that every single item in the kitchen must be unwashed and used in some way. I cannot complain: I don’t do as much cooking as I should… I suspect the detritus is a subtle form of revenge; it’s my job to do the clean up!
My (tedious) mantra, muttered many times to my son, is that you haven't finished cooking until the kitchen is slightly cleaner than when you started. I don't blame him for the eye-rolls.
Regarding homelessness, it resonates with me at the moment: I’ve been reading “The Deluge” by Markley. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Of all the climate fiction I’ve read, this one is a masterwork. Homelessness is coming to a great many people….
As per the end of the last Ice Age... as I shall check it out, thank you!
Sorry for the random comment, was trying to track down an email, but came up with nada. Will you ever continue writing tales with Nolan and Co.? I read a lot, more than I should, and somehow The Anomaly has remained the pinnacle of fiction for me in the last decade. It even got me to travel cross country to Newspaper Rock. Point being, please explore that world again? You’re the man.
Hey there! Thank you... funny, I've just had another email about THE ANOMALY, and my son just sent me a picture of the book from a hostel in Barcelona :-) I really, *really* want to write another book in the series, but keep getting sidelined into TV writing. I have about three different ideas for another Nolan adventure in the meantime, and am trying to work out which to commit to... hopefully it'll start happening soon!
All I needed to know. Keep on keeping on. And good luck with your other projects!