Regarding creative ideas: it's important, when writing a story, to recognize when you've ridden that wave as far as it's going to take you, and trying to exceed that will result in you tumbling around in a jumble of gravel and broken shells.
Totally agree on the “heavenly birthday” and associated annual bullcrap. Do people “live” to be 120 because someone on earth gives them an annual increment after they’re dead?! People live, and then they die, and they are remembered by those who knew them. They had their run, and that is their story, and they don’t get a do-over. And neither do you.
I have to mute people on my socials who pop up on the regular every year with this. Makes me crazy. Your dearly departed is not on bookface. (I suspect it may sometimes be a bit attention-seeking….. elicits comments of “so sorry” or “they were the most wonderful person ever” and… I just can’t.)
Again, exact same :) And yes, there's a lot of affirmation-seeking involved, I think - which makes it worse because it's so definitely NOT about the person it purports to be about.
I agree with both of you. I _do_ remember the anniversaries of my beloved Grandparents deaths, which both happened on Jily, albeit in different years. But I'd never imagine saying "My Grandpa would be 116 today." Ridiculous. I _wish_ he were here, so that I could talk to him about current political events and the books he'd recommend for me to read. But I know it's not possible, so I'd rather watch the old pictures of us together or his very old photos from the 1930s when he was a young bloke and things about he had actually experienced, not what he might have experienced in the years he's been gone. I too mute the people on the social media who keep saying "Happy 48th Birthday" while the person died when they were 36 or 41. Makes me shiver, in fact. Thank you, Mr Smith, for putting this valiant point so succinctly.
I especially love whenever someone peers into the open casket of a loved one and comments on how marvelous they look. Unless, of course, the line in Grand Budapest hotel. The concierge, says to his former lover, "I don't know what foundation that is but I want it. "
Regarding creative ideas: it's important, when writing a story, to recognize when you've ridden that wave as far as it's going to take you, and trying to exceed that will result in you tumbling around in a jumble of gravel and broken shells.
Now I need to unwrite a lot of stuff. Dammit.
Yes, that's also very true!
Totally agree on the “heavenly birthday” and associated annual bullcrap. Do people “live” to be 120 because someone on earth gives them an annual increment after they’re dead?! People live, and then they die, and they are remembered by those who knew them. They had their run, and that is their story, and they don’t get a do-over. And neither do you.
Exactly. And glad it's not just me who thinks this way!
I have to mute people on my socials who pop up on the regular every year with this. Makes me crazy. Your dearly departed is not on bookface. (I suspect it may sometimes be a bit attention-seeking….. elicits comments of “so sorry” or “they were the most wonderful person ever” and… I just can’t.)
Again, exact same :) And yes, there's a lot of affirmation-seeking involved, I think - which makes it worse because it's so definitely NOT about the person it purports to be about.
I agree with both of you. I _do_ remember the anniversaries of my beloved Grandparents deaths, which both happened on Jily, albeit in different years. But I'd never imagine saying "My Grandpa would be 116 today." Ridiculous. I _wish_ he were here, so that I could talk to him about current political events and the books he'd recommend for me to read. But I know it's not possible, so I'd rather watch the old pictures of us together or his very old photos from the 1930s when he was a young bloke and things about he had actually experienced, not what he might have experienced in the years he's been gone. I too mute the people on the social media who keep saying "Happy 48th Birthday" while the person died when they were 36 or 41. Makes me shiver, in fact. Thank you, Mr Smith, for putting this valiant point so succinctly.
*happened in July. (There's a hope I'll be getting a new phone, without the monitor with what I can only call a black hole smack in the middle of it).
Cracked screens are a challenge ;-) And you're so right - you should miss and cherish the person that was, not someone who isn't.
I especially love whenever someone peers into the open casket of a loved one and comments on how marvelous they look. Unless, of course, the line in Grand Budapest hotel. The concierge, says to his former lover, "I don't know what foundation that is but I want it. "
Ha - that's a great line :-)
Love the one about creativity!
Possibly the only surfing metaphor I have ;-)
I applaud it! Living in Scandinavia I don’t think I have any!